Sex File: Is it wrong to find my wife's affairs arousing?

Suzi Godson: "This is a really complex question that on the surface challenges the concept of marriage being synonymous with fidelity."
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We had been married for 20 years when my wife had a brief dalliance with a family friend. I've been shocked to find the idea of her with another man both excruciatingly painful and extremely arousing, and she has had a few more liaisons, which I've known about.
Is it healthy to accept that I find other men desiring her erotic, or is this the beginning of the end for our marriage?
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