Sex File: I miss the secrecy of our early relationship

As you rightly point out, there are certain upsides to secrecy.

Mon, 24 Mar, 2025 - 07:44

Suzi Godson

I have been with my partner for around six months; the first three of which were in secret as we were work colleagues. Those early months were filled with excitement and passion, but since making it official, some of that seems to have gone. Is it possible that we mistook the thrill of having that shared secret for something more serious than it is?

Although workplace relationships can be an HR nightmare, they are fairly common, particularly among younger staff. There is of course the risk of a power imbalance, which can lead to favouritism while the relationship is in play, and discrimination if it fails. However, risk has never stopped humans from doing unwise things. Last year a survey of 2,000 people carried out by Forbes and OnePoll in America found that 60% of adults had had a workplace romance. The most surprising thing about that survey was that an incredible 43% of office relationships ended in marriage. The Forbes survey did also find that 40% of workplace affairs had involved cheating on another partner, however, so if that is how your relationship started, it might explain why you were so circumspect in those first few months.

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